What a delightful surprise! A package arrived today with a thank you gift for my speech at the Renew Therapeutic Riding Center’s fundraiser in Holland, Michigan. These diamond decked pink boots are the joy of my life – carefully chosen by my little friend Molly, who let me borrow her boots the afternoon of the fundraiser. Thanks Molly girl and thanks to Renew’s Board of Directors who must have read my mind and heart – “I’d give anything to have a pair of boots of my VERY OWN!!!” Note: I blogged about similar boots in my March 30th, 2011 blog entry entitled:
Walking Boots.
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I’m still glowing after the Broken and Beautiful Retreat in Palo Alto, California. Peninsula Bible Church asked for stories from my book His Majesty in Brokenness which were fun for me to tell bringing laughter and tears to the 150 women in attendance. What amazed us all was how our God could take a little girl born without legs, grow her a set of sturdy spiritual limbs, strong enough to carry others to His nail-scarred feet. Miraculously, feet and stumps were set a dancin’ to the wonderful songs and music of Tapestry worship band and lifelong wounds were set a healin’. Truly Broken met Beautiful through a freeing foot/stump washing ceremony followed later by a long line of women handing over their pain and shame at the foot of the cross to a Savior who longs to set us free. It was all good. In fact for me it was a fifty on a 1 to 10 scale. But ultimately for me the highlight came while witnessing a beauty this world knows nothing of. Shortly before the Friday evening session began, I watched an octogenarian stumble as her tennis shoes caught on the carpeted floor. Timber. She was down. (Yes, I remembered well the embarrassment of many falls during my fifty years walking on seven sets of artificial limbs.) Was she hurt? Was she mad at her decreased mobility? She was able to twist to a sitting position, though she couldn’t get up. She explained she had peripheral neuropathy. She wasn’t hurt, nor was she upset. In fact she blessed my socks off as she proceeded to offer up a prayer for my upcoming talks and for God’s blessing on the women of all ages coming through the door. More than ever before, this retreat convinced me that we are all broken. And I now see that the invisible disabilities can be much harder than the visible. The shame of years in prison. Unvoiced pain from a dysfunctional family. Unfulfilled marriages. Deceased children and spouses. Abuse and Addictions galore. Eating disorders. Bad decisions that haunt us. In community we can and did come out of hiding, exposed our brokenness, handing it over to God. May we live in hope – expecting that in the bowels of life’s suffering, we will be met by His without-condemnation embrace, the only one that can truly satisfy. But there’s more. May the condemner’s voice be forever silenced as we hear the Lover of our Soul whisper: I’m wild about you. Here are some photos of the fun we had: Contact me at judysquier@gmail.com If you would like information about the Broken and Beautiful women’s retreat. Maybe you could bring it to your church!
Touring the Franklin Delano Roosevelt Memorial was a definite highlight of my recent trip to Washington DC. At the same time, my eyes were opened to how far our society has actually come in accepting a physical disability.
President Roosevelt had residual lower limb paralysis following polio at age 39. He used a wheelchair every day of his four-term presidency. Was America aware of this? Newspaper publicity never showed the chair. Of the 30,000 photos studied for his memoirs, only two were found showing him in the wheelchair. With the unveiling of his memorial in 1997, President Roosevelt was depicted sitting down with a long cape hiding the wheelchair. The disabled of America protested insisting the president’s disability be made visible: “He was our only president in a wheelchair.” Against the designers wishes, the memorial now exposes FDR’s secret. Viewing this ‘prologue’ to the memorial, I was struck by how small and alone FDR looks seated in his wheelchair. How small and alone disability can make us feel. Thank God, times have changed. Back at home, thankful for my trusty wheelchair that gives me the dignity of independence, I grieve President Roosevelt’s obvious shame associated with his. And I ponder how could a key figure on the world stage hide his inability to walk unaided much less hide his wheelchair? Hopefully none of us are living in such bondage. I welcome your thoughts as I wrestle with this one. Take a close look.
See the BOOTS? A little girl named Molly lent me her cowgirl boots for my speech for the Renew Therapeutic Riding Center’s fundraiser in Holland, Michigan last week. Wearing Molly’s boots did something deep within my soul. Her little pair of boots taught me:
What missing piece is glaring at you today? God has big plans for using that very missing piece to bless you and others. Join me. Borrow someone’s walkin’ boots and let’s bring a smile and an Alleluia for the God who fills our missing pieces with Himself. How blessed I am when I hear how His Majesty in Brokenness is being used! The following e-mail is from my former roommate, Cathy Binkley Padgett, who I met while attending Campus Crusade for Christ’s IBS at Arrowhead Springs in the sixties. I’m sure my removable legs were a shocker to her but God used them to prepare her, to strengthen her and to show her His presence in brokenness as she would experience the pain of her son Troy’s severe and fatal disability in his adult life. In Christ nothing is wasted. After reading her note, take a reflective moment and ask yourself, “How has His Majesty prepared and strengthened me for a humanly impossible situation?”
I love this photo of granddaughter Brianna affirming me with a hug. No matter that her Granny can’t walk. No matter her Granny doesn’t have toes for This Little Piggy Went to Market. For me Brianna’s spontaneous gesture shouts, “No worries Granny, I love you just the way you are.” To me, whose been known to cringe because I can’t do what other Grannies do, Brianna’s unconditional love carries a hug from heaven and God’s promise that this Granny, like all Grannies, is fearfully and wonderfully made. Can you say it to yourself? I am fearfully and wonderfully made. And can you take the next step and thank your Creator God for whatever it is about you that brings you down? Know that it’s not a fluke but holy design. Holy because that’s where He wants to meet you and give you His heavenly hug. When I was making my website, my friend Ethel insisted that we put a particular video on it. So after some searching through our VHS tapes and researching how to get it online, David got it up on the web to share with all of you! So here is the story behind it: in 1991 I was one of three disabled Americans honored in Washington DC by the Family Research Council and Focus on the Family. This video was played at the awards banquet, at which I received a fifteen pound bronze statue that reads: The Marian Pfister Anschutz Award presented to Judy Squier in recognition of her dedication to protecting, encouraging and strengthening the American Family. Though a dozen of my family members sat amongst the 300 guests, for me two people were sorely missed: my deceased father who had cheered me on every step of the way and the delivery roon doctor who had announced to Dad: Your daughter’s going to live, I’m sorry to say. Being chosen for this national honor is a forever reminder to me that I extend to you: Don’t quit before the happy ending. God’s plan for good may be invisible to you right now; Heaven’s applause may be inaudible. But keep walking, (crawl if you must). We walk by faith not by sight! So without further ado – please watch my story! I’m totally new at this book publishing stuff. When doors open I wheel through them. When His Majesty in Brokenness first came out, my friend Ginny said, “Let’s do a book signing at the Grant Pass First Friday Nite in September.” Not wanting to pitch my tent on the curb, I was grateful when she offered her son’s Glass Forge store two blocks from the center of downtown. As David and I drove to my first book signing, we agreed that I’d probably sell one book. Imagine our surprise and delight when we sold 28. My book signing/celebration in Kristin Day’s Portola Valley house in December was well attended and 35 books moved from my cardboard box to friends’ hands and hearts. Thursday of last week, Patty Cullen, a fellow student in a Life Stories writing class, hosted a book signing for me in her Konditorei coffee shop in the town where David and I raised our family. The hugs and congratulations were coupled with the purchase of 33 copies of His Majesty in Brokenness. I think I like these book signing events was my conclusion until Pat Sikora, who did much of my content edit, gave me the scoop: “Many authors don’t do book signings anymore, Judy, since the average attendance is often three people, relatives included.” Sometimes it’s better not to have done your research – my naiveté paid off this time. And it sure has been fun sharing the limelight with His Majesty. Thanks one and all for your support and cheers! But what’s the take away, Coach Naphy asks her Ma before posting this blog update? Proverbs 3:5-6 was dancing around in my mind all week – Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths. Peace of mind comes when we entrust the outcome of events to His Majesty’s good keeping. What can we release to Him this week? What a relief to let go and let God of the universe direct our paths. Here are some photos from my last book signing event at the Konditorei coffee shop in Portola Valley, CA: Thank you ALL who came and made it special! My Sally Stuart Christian Writers’ Market Guide (www.stuartmarket.com) arrived in the mail this week. Time to cozy up by the fireplace and study the writing market. (All aspiring writers will find Sally’s 500 plus pages of information essential for getting published in the Christian market.) As a beginning writer, I decided to hone the craft beginning with magazine articles. Perusing Sally’s invaluable guide, I discovered the perfect magazine, Accent on Living, for my stories about my life with a disability. With my confidence shaking in its boots, I submitted two articles – one on snorkeling in Hawaii and the other on our safari in Africa. Both stories received an immediate rejection via e-mail. Crushed, I was ready to quit, but God wasn’t. About the same time I had a trip planned to Bloomington, Illinois to spend a few weeks with my aging Mom. Still dreaming of getting published, I poured over the magazine like I used to pour over the back-to-school Sears catalog. It was then I noticed the address and phone number inside the cover – Bloomington, Illinois. A day into visiting mom in the local nursing home, I found time and courage and called the magazine editor, “Hello, I’m Judy Squier,” I hemmed and hawed, “I sent you two magazine articles…” As Editor Garee proceeded to repeat WHY she couldn’t use them, I interrupted, not sure why I said what I said, “I’m here in Bloomington visiting my mom at Heritage Nursing Home in case you want to reach me.” “Heritage Nursing Home,” she said, “my mom is there right now. I’d really like to come over and meet you!” My insides screamed, “WHAT!” as I calmly answered, “What time do you want to meet?” Editor Betty Garee and Rookie Writer Squier met that day. Betty included both of my articles in her next issue (Summer, 2001) with my Africa picture as her cover photo. And she proceeded to accept all of my future submissions in her newly named magazine, SpeciaLiving. And the maraschino cherry to top it all off, just last month Betty invited me to continue her magazine’s inspirational column that Joni Eareckson Tada can no longer do. Check out my first entry, God is My Pogo Stick, on page 40-41 in the Winter Issue at www.specialiving.com There’s a lesson here for all of us as we face new challenges in 2011: It’s not about locked doors; it’s about the Keeper of the keys. You remind me and I’ll remind you: Don’t quit before the happy ending. Let’s keep trusting the Lord. He’s the Keeper of the keys. (To learn more information about Giraffe Manor in Kenya, check out their website: www.mahlatini.com/kenya/accommodation/giraffe-manor/) For years, actually decades, I searched for it – the poem that my Dad often used at the end of a New Year’s sermon. I shouted Alleluia when I finally found it. Reading it brought joy to my now-old-soul: A New Leaf He came to my desk with a quivering lip – The lesson was done – “Dear teacher, I want a new leaf,” he said, “I have spoiled this one.” In place of the leaf so stained and blotted, I gave him a new one all unspotted, And into his sad eyes smiled – “Do better now, my child.” I went to the throne with a quivering soul – The old year was done – “Dear Father, hast Thou a new leaf for me? I have spoiled this one.” He took the old leaf stained and blotted, And gave me a new one all unspotted, And into my sad heart smiled – “Do better now, my child.” -Anonymous I love it still, but decades wiser recognize that our Heavenly Father’s gift of a new leaf is not just yearly, but daily. And as He hands it to us, hopefully we take the nail-scarred hand of His only begotten Son so that we can journey on together. Jesus and me, Jesus and you – dialoguing, collaborating, laughing, loving, sharing a hankie, forgiving. That’s what I want to do more of in the new year. How about you?
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AuthorJUDY SQUIER has authored His Majesty in Brokenness, Living in the Names of God and the Living in the Names Bible Study. Husband David and she have three adult daughters, three sons-in-law and seven grandchildren. Never did Mr. and Mrs. Squier dream that their long-awaited golden wedding anniversary would coincide with David’s memorial service. Judy resides in southern Oregon, alone, yet not alone. Thanks to the Good Shepherd! Categories
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