What a JOY to lead a workshop at the BASS Church Workers Convention in northern California on March 3. My class description read:
Preparing for the workshop helped me remember that I’m not alone in seeing God in human brokenness – OTHERS have seen Him. Dale Evans and Roy Rogers recognized their daughter, Robin, as an Angel Unaware, as she taught her family about a loving Heavenly Father through what was labeled in the ‘50’s – mongolism. Henri Nouwen, an accomplished theologian, met Jesus incarnate, not as a professor at Notre Dame, Yale or Harvard, but as a caregiver to a profoundly-retarded adult named Adam. Henri called the daily acts of bathing, shaving and feeding Adam – holy ground. Chuck Colson, saw God like never before thanks to a GRANDson named Max. An autism diagnosis rocked the family but the Lord of the Dance triumphed as evidenced in Emily Colson’s Dancing with Max. Dale and Roy Rogers, Henri Nouwen, Chuck and Emily Colson have beheld His Majesty in the unlikely place called brokenness. They GET IT! Together we can join Job: I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear but now my eye sees You. (Job 42:5) Elizabeth Barrett Browning got it too, thanks to her years as an invalid. Her following four-liner about holiness provided the perfect opening for my workshop.
Do you get it? Can you yet see God in your own wounds or the wounds of others? Be forewarned: You may not see Him right away. For some of us it takes half a century. But thanks to journaling, then writing and publishing my book His Majesty in Brokenness I finally saw what I missed the first time around. The good news is that my 20/800 acuity for God sightings is sharpening to 20/20. How do I know? Because this past weekend, as I celebrated my 67th birthday, I was able to testify to a roomful of church workers that Creator God makes no mistakes. They (and I) heard me say: His Majesty has woo-ed and won not just my spirit but my once self conscious flesh – so that I can whole-heartedly thank Him for beautifully-imperfect ME. What about you? Can you, too, thank Him for your’s or another’s beautiful imperfections. If so, I invite you to read the following passage (which assures us of God’s presence and perfect design) and replace the pronouns with your’s or a loved one’s name?
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More than ever before, there were elements we wanted to forget. Would the show even go on? The audio system was in severe disarray so amplification was intermittent or at times deafening. The janitor had locked the huge white screen so it blocked the stage where three dance numbers were to be performed. I spoke in the dark so my power point would be vivid… Bravely we waited. Thankfully our precious audience did not lose heart. Finally the show went on!
And all were inspired: the young adults with developmental disabilities danced like prima ballerinas with watching parents bursting their buttons. We watched the dedicated staff at Employment & Community Options shower their clients with love & devotion. I told my amazing story – one that resonated with the families. I saw my parents and yes, I saw myself in the families served by this organization whose goal is to educate and employer adults with developmental disabilities to achieve optimum potential in life (Learn more at: www.communityoptions.org). I’d been told and reminded that the evening’s event was secular so I tailored my words carefully. Imagine my surprise upon meeting Nancy Batterman, the CEO of Employment and Community Options and discovering she too was a woman of faith. In fact she had read His Majesty in Brokenness and reread it with her book club. Yes it was a secular event – a secular event where Jesus showed up. Who didn’t silently thank God when one by one the glaring glitches evaporated. I heard Him speak in the words of a single mom who said, “My son is angel. I wouldn’t want him any other way.” We watched Him aglow in the participant’s JOY – Alleluia! this is our night to shine! And no one could miss Him in the dance as the poised prima ballerinas, led by my daughter Emily, twirled across the thankfully visible stage to the song – You Raise Me Up – the words in the background put Him in the foreground:
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas; I am strong, when I am on your shoulders; You raise me up… To more than I can be. Photos from the Evening I don’t even remember getting onto my wheelchair lift. All I know is that David said he heard a big boom and came rushing to the living room. There I lay – unconscious for a short while, then disoriented – having back-flipped, maybe even somersaulted to our hickory hardwood floor fourteen inches below. Falling has not been uncommon in my life with a physical disability. Falling with no warning was actually the reason I stopped walking on artificial limbs after fifty years. Then there was the morning long ago when an unexpected fall shook my faith. I had read and claimed Psalm 91:11-12 that morning in my daily devotions. Lord, I rejoice that Your angels steady me on my artificial limbs so I won’t stumble. That was the morning one of our three daughters parked her bike at the front door so that when I backed down the three steps as was my custom I STUMBLED. I must confess that tumble landed a chink in my armor of faith. God, I thought You said Your angels would keep me from falling? Where were they? A chink in my armor of faith? Is that Christian? I believe it is. And I believe that God takes full responsibility for eliminating our chinks with His day after day and year after year presence. He invites us to give our doubts and our danders to Him since He is big enough to resolve them. Meanwhile He encourages us to admit them to ourselves and others as He heals us with His peaceful presence often most evident to us on those days when we land flat on our backs. Two decades later – it wasn’t a bike that took me down, just some distraction or overconfidence on a lift that takes me up and down dozens of times a day. Having twenty more years of experiencing Immanuel – God with us – under my belt I am comforted knowing that He was with me. Jesus was that You I spotted stretched out beside me on the hardwood? What about you, dear friend? Do you have chinks in your armor of faith? Have you trusted God for safety for yourself or a loved one to only have calamity strike? Was a foxhole prayer followed by seeming silence from heaven? God’s ways are not our ways; actually His ways prove better than ours. And for those who choose, His presence is 24/7 in the highs and lows. Shepherd, I need You now! puts Him smack dab in the middle of all that touches us. Then just knowing He’s there cushions the inevitable blows of this life. On the brink of 2012 I pass on to you one of my favorite faith-strengtheners – Ruth Harms Calkin’s paraphrase of Romans 8:38-39:
As some of you know, God rewrote the script for Mr. and Mrs. Squier’s autumn 2011. On October 2nd we moved down to Loma Linda, California and on October 3rd David began his 1st prostate cancer treatment. We anticipate returning to southern Oregon sometime during the week of December 5th. So often we hear, “We’re so sorry,” when folks learn about David’s cancer. The truth be told ‘so sorry’ isn’t needed in the Proton Department at Loma Linda Medical Center. Treatments last approximately fifteen minutes, five days a week for nine weeks. They’re painless without the side effects of fatigue, nausea, hair loss, etc. A brotherhood quickly develops amongst the 100 to 150 patients treated each day. We enjoy Tuesday nite potlucks, Wednesday nite educational/inspirational speakers, weekly doctor’s appointments, and regular workouts at a world-class athletic center. All part of the program. Come to find out prostate cancer is a common reality for men over fifty. Annual PSA tests are important for an early diagnosis. We thank the Lord that David’s cancer was caught early. We thank the Lord for leading us to Loma Linda. We are eager to spread the word to family and friends. Men: be sure and get your PSA checked annually. And consider proton therapy as a strong treatment option. Learn more at http://www.protons.com/proton-therapy/conditions-treated/pelvis.html Call 866-285-6728 and request a DVD about the program and the book You Can Beat Prostate Cancer and You Don’t Need Surgery to Do It by Robert Marckini, a prostate cancer survivor. Or contact the Squiers. We appreciate Loma Linda’s commitment to treating the whole person. David and I applaud the upfront spiritual component; we are comforted daily by the cross on the front of the hospital building. And I love Nathan Greene’s art on the walls of the lobby depicting Jesus visibly present in the multi-facets of medicine. Could it be? Yes it’s true. I, the Queen of Hyperbole, and David, the King of Understatement, agree that these two plus months of David’s prostate cancer treatment are amongst the best in our 43 years of marriage. Cancer is so limited – It cannot cripple love, shatter hope, corrode faith, destroy peace. It cannot kill friendship, suppress memories, silence courage, invade the soul. It cannot steal God’s gift of eternal life; it cannot quench the Holy Spirit. It cannot lessen the power of the resurrection. -Author Unknown (Thanks Cousin Sue for sending us this quote early on) And thanks Rachel Olstad for your recent comment: I love how God is using cancer for His Glory!
Cornerstone Berean Church in Kearney Nebraska hosted an unforgettable Broken and Beautiful event recently. Precious women studied my blog and put together an event that fit His Majesty and Judy to a tee. (Thank you Michele Brown and your team!) The evening began when a gal named Patty, a professed shoe lover, handed me a colorfully wrapped package containing a penny loafer paper weight. “After reading His Majesty in Brokenness,” she explained, “I knew burgundy penny loafers had a special place in your heart.” Thanks to people like Patty my shoe collection groweth…. First came my orthopedic shoe, which His Majesty transformed into my treasured gold shoe. Then came the pink cowgirl boots from Molly at Holland Michigan’s Therapeutic Riding Fundraiser. Add to that Patty’s replica of my much-loved burgundy loafers worn on my first set of artificial limbs. Plus one more shoe for the night: a cellophane wrapped glass slipper cookie was presented to each one in attendance. The delicacy was tastefully tied with a tag containing Ephesians 2:10: For we are God’s masterpiece. He created us anew in Christ Jesus so that we can do the good things He planned for us long ago. Legless Judy’s growing collection of shoes is proof that God has a special place in His heart for what’s missing in our lives. In His time and in His unique way He lovingly addresses our loss and whispers: “I know the longing of your heart. Thank you for entrusting it to Me.” Sharing Cornerstone’s stage with me was a beautiful evening gown depicting Cinderella’s rags to riches story. Its skinny waistline captured my attention resulting in this unscripted remark: God has new bodies awaiting us in heaven. Legs would be nice but what I’m really looking forward to is a size two waistline. Surely it was those words that inspired the end of the evening photo shoot with me, Heaven’s Thinner Daughter of the King in the skinny-minny ballroom attire. Joining the dress to Judy for the picture required due diligence on the part of several ladies – further proof that His Majesty, Jesus Christ, God’s Son cares about the desires of our hearts. My heart’s desire is to fit in a size 2. What about you? Maybe you long for that overdue prince to come, or you crave hearing I love you from an estranged family member, or maybe you’ve given up on a Happily Ever After with your name on it. May my smiling face atop the skinny gown remind you that your heart’s desires matter to God. In His time and in His unique way He will show up in your pain, bestowing upon you His presence plus gifting you with something that fits your longing to a tee. Your job until then: “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4 NASB SpeciaLiving just came out with their fall issue – you can view an article I wrote by following the link below. Thank You, Betty Garee, editor of Specialiving E-zine!
To read this wonderful quarterly magazine go to: www.specialiving.com Find page 62 to read my article: REDEEMED: An Everyday Word Pinch me, is that really me gracing the forest on a flying trapeze?
Thanks to three committed guys – Brent , Jeff and my ever true David this old girl was blessed this week with the ride of a lifetime. They didn’t carry a Judy-filled stretcher up a flight of stairs and lower me through the roof to the feet of Jesus but they did drive me up the steep service trail, hooked me up, lowered me to the launch plank and gave me a shove. Like the friends in the Gospels, they got me there. God bless them. Now I know how a seagull feels riding the sea breeze – free as a bird. I know now the security of His everlasting arms holding me as I take that leap of faith. And having experienced it kinesthetically, I can rest in the reality – You, Lord, are the wind beneath my wings. Joni Camp is famous for providing the launch pad for scaredy-cats to take flight, conquering fears that are more paralyzing than quadriplegia. One little girl came specifically to overcome particular fears in her life. She told her mom, “I want to make fear walk the plank!” Joni Camp is life changing… for me and for others. Who wouldn’t want to see for themselves in 2012?? Are you willing to live on the edge? www.joniandfriends.org/family-retreats/ I am honored to be back at the Joni and Friends Family Retreat in Mission Springs, CA. where my three daughters and I came over fifteen years ago.
I feel privileged to be the keynote speaker for the week sharing how His Majesty has shown up in my brokenness. Indeed He has been forever faithful to me and I want to encourage others not to quit before their happy ending. My long time friend Margaret Schroth (in the photos) and I will be part of the team ministering to more than 35 families touched by disability. Margaret and I share a deeper than life bond – the same congenital disability. We are connected at the hip in that proximal femoral focal deficiency includes a disconnect of our ball and socket hip joints. Margaret and I thank for your prayers this week – Can’t wait to tell you how God shows up. I have been buried in speech writing the past four weeks – hiding out in my cozy office in our home in Grants Pass. My labors grew momentarily lighter watching a mother swallow outside my window as she frantically hunted food for the chirping mouths peeking out of the birdhouse. But still with my stack of rewrites up to the ceiling, my ravenous quest continues for the perfect words. I shout AMEN to Mark Twain’s remark: The difference between the right word and the almost right word is like the difference between lightning and the lightning bug. This Power of Words video has captivated my attention. I’ve viewed it a dozen times already. Each time I ask myself: What makes the second set of words so much more effective? As a writer, my Roget’s Super Thesaurus is a tried and true tool in my quest for words that hit the spot. As a Christian writer, I invite Jesus the Living Word to bring life to my choice of words. And as a Christian, I pray, Lord, give each one of us written and spoken words that penetrate hearts, propelling us to deeds of kindness to the hurting world around us. I’m praying for Jesus’ healing words as I speak to families touched by disability at the July Joni and Friends Family Retreat at Mission Springs in California. I’ll give you an update with pictures at the end of the month. Until then I pass on a prayer that I’ve prayed more and more recently: “May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart, be acceptable in Thy sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” Psalm 19:14 As I give speeches, I marvel as a roomful of women listen attentively to my story of brokenness. Legless Judy perched in her wheelchair peers out at seats filled with beautiful women with whole bodies. I always wonder: What can they glean from my tale of broken dreams?
Once again I watched His Majesty in Brokenness mesmerize an audience. This time at a ‘Tea with Judy Squier’ in Santa Cruz, California. Antonelli’s Clubhouse felt more like London’s Buckingham Palace with Bonnie Smith’s linens, china cups and saucers, tea pots, centerpieces. (Bonnie’s collection takes thrift shopping to a whole new level.) We all were pampered savoring scones with Devonshire cream, finger sandwiches of all kinds, dipped strawberries and so much more. I wrapped my life stories around Beth Moore’s statement: Practically every little girl has at least four dreams – 1) to be a bride 2) to be beautiful 3) to be fruitful 4) to live happily ever after Born broken, I never risked such dreams, nor did my parents. But God did. Echoing through my lonely childhood and wilderness teen years was His Promise: For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV) With book in hand, I read portions of Celebration on Hold, Wedding Miracles, Courage Begins with Fear. The stage was perfectly set, as Lynnette, Emily and Rose sang El Shaddai – my all time favorite song (which daughter Emily keeps practiced for my memorial service). Yes, the All-Sufficient One showed up at our tea party, rekindling hope in the hearts of women whose dreams had been tried and tested. Together we laughed at God’s sense of humor. We stood in awe of His wondrous deeds. Indeed my story is a Cinderella tale with His Majesty being the Prince, Who longs to make dreams a reality in each of our lives. Hand over the broken pieces so I can create a Masterpiece, Jesus extends this offer. Yet, too often, an ever-present seed of skepticism retorts from deep inside, Surely there’s no such thing as living happily ever after! Together with His Majesty, I, the little crippled girl who was too afraid to dream, provided living proof that in Christ there is a happily ever after. But it’s not like in the fairy tales. In fact its quite different. I closed my talk by describing my formula for happily ever after. For me it involved: 1) exposing the shame 2) embracing the pain 3) extracting the precious from the worthless. As I greeted individuals in the book line, one conversation brought life to my three points. Jenny introduced herself and told me she was blind. Immediately she asked if she could feel my wheelchair. Then she asked if she could feel one of my stumps. She gently held on to my left stump as we talked. At that moment in time living happily ever after happened: Judy’s shame came out of hiding, Jenny embraced my pain and together we extracted the precious from the worthless. What about you? Where has happily ever after shown up for you recently? Tell me about it and we’ll celebrate with a tea party. Let’s call this one Tea with His Majesty…. |
AuthorJUDY SQUIER has authored His Majesty in Brokenness, Living in the Names of God and the Living in the Names Bible Study. Husband David and she have three adult daughters, three sons-in-law and seven grandchildren. Never did Mr. and Mrs. Squier dream that their long-awaited golden wedding anniversary would coincide with David’s memorial service. Judy resides in southern Oregon, alone, yet not alone. Thanks to the Good Shepherd! Categories
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