WRITING does not come easy for me. I am not a born writer. I write and rewrite and rewrite sometimes a dozen times until it finally ZINGS! If writing is hard work for me, why do I do it? The following quote by Madeleine L’Engle explains why I write.
Collaborate, according to my Roget’s Super Thesaurus means: work together, team up, coauthor, join forces. So I collaborate with the book but also with Elohim, the Creator God.
The Creator God is very much a part of my writing. He’s ultimately the Author while I click the keys on the keyboard. He gets me to my desk on days when I’d rather not. He’s the Finisher of each and every story that I work on so that after umpteen rewrites, when I read the finished work, I feel His Pleasure. Though not a born writer, I realize I have always found great pleasure in words. I have filled journals with words from the early age of ten. At age thirteen, my Dad helped me select the right words for my first public speech. For a decade I worked as a speech pathologist helping children with delayed speech and language development and adults who’d had strokes learn to say words. My favorite book after the Bible is my Roget’s Super Thesaurus. Words pepper the walls, counters and shelves of our home in southern Oregon. Plaques fill the empty space above many of our doors. I recently counted 17 words or quotes in one room. Two quotes stand out among many in my office: For This I Have Jesus and Do Something to Crow About. Words and writing have served me well giving me an opportunity to live experiences a second time. As I relive life by writing my life stories I often hear myself say: Lord, You were with me even then, weren’t You? Writing enables me to see Jesus in the rear view mirror. But mastering the craft of writing has been a long haul: fifteen to twenty years of writing classes and writers’ conferences with too-many-to-count rejections from book and magazine editors with only a splattering of memorable moments to prevent me from giving up. I remember the night I read Twenty-Four Karat Miracle (now a chapter in His Majesty in Brokenness) in an adult education writing class at Palo Alto High School. As I finished reading, one of the other senior citizen students jumped out of her seat and shouted, “Judy, you’ve got a book in your belly.” She was right. The book in my belly was published in August 2010. I thank the Lord for leading me to Createspace.com for a painless experience of self-publishing. The Createspace support staff held three Squier’s hands (Judy’s, David’s and daughter Naphtalie’s) and lead us along the path to finalizing the manuscript so that they could provide their top quality print on demand product. Not only do I recommend them I am ready to use them again. All year I have busied myself with book number two – His Majesty and Me is my working title. The stories will convey my love affair with God, through His Hebrew names, including El Shaddai, Jehovah Jireh, Jehovah Shalom and fifteen others. My prayer and goal is to send the PDF of the manuscript to Createspace by December 31, 2012. For this I have Jesus! HOW ABOUT YOU? What challenge is staring you in the face? What is too big for you to pull off on your own? Is someone you love overwhelmed? I have a Bible verse for us all – a verse God gave me during final week in college. (I know He gave it to me because to this day I still have trouble finding Habakkuk in my Bible.) Habakkuk 3:19 (Amplified Bible) reminds me Who to put in charge of life’s IMPOSSIBLE assignments. I have crowned Him my Author and Finisher for my current writing endeavor. What do you need to hand over to Him right now? The Lord God is my strength, my personal bravery, my invincible army; He makes my feet like hinds’ feet, and will make me to walk (not to stand still in terror but to walk) and make spiritual progress upon my high places (of trouble, suffering and responsibility)!
0 Comments
More and more the theology of God’s astonishing wonders has become autobiography for me. No longer am I the little crippled girl excluded from life. God moved me from the lonely sidelines to center stage for life experiences I never believed possible. On April 25th David and I flew to San Antonio, Texas where I spoke at a fundraiser for Becky’s Hope ministry (www.beckyshope.org). Max Lucado did the keynote speech and I followed him with the heart of the ministry talk. I wove my talk around Max Lucado’s children’s book The Crippled Lamb, the story of a lamb who was always left out because of a deformed leg. Don’t be sad little lamb, God has a special place for those who feel left out. This refrain encouraged him when the other sheep journeyed to far away places and he was left him out. But God’s wonders never cease: Thanks to his deformed leg the crippled lamb was center stage in the stable the night Jesus, the Lamb of God was born. The crippled lamb’s story is my story! That’s what I told the audience at the fundraiser. Being left out was the bane of my growing up years. Not just my bane but also the Becky of Becky’s Hope bane, due to her spina bifida. Yes, we both sat and watched our siblings have all the fun, BUT GOD. But God has a special place and big plans for those who feel left out. Thanks to our being left out , both Becky and I we were ushered in to a forever relationship with the Lamb of God, Jesus Christ. And in Becky’s life, thanks to her disability, Becky and her Romanian-born parents are God’s instrument to spread the hope of Christ throughout Romania to moms with disabled children and adults. In Romania a heavy spirit of oppression keeps crippled lambs behind closed doors –a condition which the Opreans are changing through nearly a decade of Christian retreats. I was privileged to teach and minister with Becky’s Hope in Romanian towns in 2004, 2005 and 2007. Now I am privileged to share my life-changing, cliff-hanger experiences at their fundraisers here in America. This 2012 fundraiser was over the top! Experiencing Max Lucado up close was a thrill of a lifetime. His story-telling teaching style makes me want to be a wordsmith like Max when I grow up. Enjoying San Antonio’s annual fiesta and strolls/rolls along the River Walk, David and I were joined by my sister, Tina, and my niece, Christie. Like her Aunt Judy, Christie is a crippled lamb. Christie’s disability is blindness and she knows first hand how it feels to be left out. But now an adult, she’s a lamb you don’t want to leave behind, because even without vision she’s turned into the family’s GPS. She’s living proof of God’s power made perfect in human weakness.
What about You? In what arena do you find yourself repeatedly left out? Maybe you are like me – you feel you were born to lead life’s parade, but you find yourself velcroed to a seat on the sidelines. My advice to you: Don’t be sad, Little Lamb, look Who’s sitting beside you. It’s the God Who companions with us on the sidelines and in His time He gives us the spot we always longed for in life’s parade. Prepare yourself to be: Astonished! Astounded! For He is going to do something in your days— You would not believe if you were told. His Majesty and I have enjoyed amazing opportunities since my book His Majesty in Brokenness was published in August 2010. Book signings have felt like a warm hug from supportive friends and family. Tea parties, Christian Women’s Club talks, Broken and Beautiful retreats have all provided an opportunity to tell audiences to keep their eyes peeled for Jesus in their broken places.
Most recently Donna Schmid, the founder of Grants Pass’ Pathway to Authenticity contacted me wanting to do a short documentary on my life. She’s a motivational coach, a hypnotherapist and a massage therapist who helps people become connected body, mind and spirit. In a phone conversation ahead of time, she asked, me, “Judy, what’s the one thing you would like to tell our viewers?” My immediate response that “I’d like to tell them we are all broken,” resulted in a long silence. Finally Donna communicated, “I don’t think we are all broken.” Hmmm. Might a synonym help? No. She preferred the word victorious. I suggested maybe she wanted to retract her invitation to me since our philosophies were polar opposites. No, she wanted to ponder brokenness and she’d call me back later. Six hours later, an excited Donna greeted me. She related how after hanging up she went to visit her father-in-law at the local memory loss facility. Like never before she was struck by his broken speech and the many broken residents. Yes, she could now agree with my premise about universal brokenness. I praised her for her amazing 180; she shared more about her new discovery; then we picked a date for the filming. Recording it on my calendar, I realized the documentary would happen on Good Friday. “Donna,” I wrote in an email, “speaking of brokenness, did you realize we are scheduled to meet on Good Friday? It’s the day in history when God Himself became broken so He could heal us and set us free.” Her email back simply said, “WOW!” Wow is more and more my response as I watch His Majesty fling open doors of opportunity. But He’s no longer limiting it to doors. He’s expanding his job description to bridge building. When Donna and I hit the wall between us, His Majesty built a bridge. Together we thank Him because we are both enjoying a friendship that might not have happened. I don’t even remember getting onto my wheelchair lift. All I know is that David said he heard a big boom and came rushing to the living room. There I lay – unconscious for a short while, then disoriented – having back-flipped, maybe even somersaulted to our hickory hardwood floor fourteen inches below. Falling has not been uncommon in my life with a physical disability. Falling with no warning was actually the reason I stopped walking on artificial limbs after fifty years. Then there was the morning long ago when an unexpected fall shook my faith. I had read and claimed Psalm 91:11-12 that morning in my daily devotions. Lord, I rejoice that Your angels steady me on my artificial limbs so I won’t stumble. That was the morning one of our three daughters parked her bike at the front door so that when I backed down the three steps as was my custom I STUMBLED. I must confess that tumble landed a chink in my armor of faith. God, I thought You said Your angels would keep me from falling? Where were they? A chink in my armor of faith? Is that Christian? I believe it is. And I believe that God takes full responsibility for eliminating our chinks with His day after day and year after year presence. He invites us to give our doubts and our danders to Him since He is big enough to resolve them. Meanwhile He encourages us to admit them to ourselves and others as He heals us with His peaceful presence often most evident to us on those days when we land flat on our backs. Two decades later – it wasn’t a bike that took me down, just some distraction or overconfidence on a lift that takes me up and down dozens of times a day. Having twenty more years of experiencing Immanuel – God with us – under my belt I am comforted knowing that He was with me. Jesus was that You I spotted stretched out beside me on the hardwood? What about you, dear friend? Do you have chinks in your armor of faith? Have you trusted God for safety for yourself or a loved one to only have calamity strike? Was a foxhole prayer followed by seeming silence from heaven? God’s ways are not our ways; actually His ways prove better than ours. And for those who choose, His presence is 24/7 in the highs and lows. Shepherd, I need You now! puts Him smack dab in the middle of all that touches us. Then just knowing He’s there cushions the inevitable blows of this life. On the brink of 2012 I pass on to you one of my favorite faith-strengtheners – Ruth Harms Calkin’s paraphrase of Romans 8:38-39:
As some of you know, God rewrote the script for Mr. and Mrs. Squier’s autumn 2011. On October 2nd we moved down to Loma Linda, California and on October 3rd David began his 1st prostate cancer treatment. We anticipate returning to southern Oregon sometime during the week of December 5th. So often we hear, “We’re so sorry,” when folks learn about David’s cancer. The truth be told ‘so sorry’ isn’t needed in the Proton Department at Loma Linda Medical Center. Treatments last approximately fifteen minutes, five days a week for nine weeks. They’re painless without the side effects of fatigue, nausea, hair loss, etc. A brotherhood quickly develops amongst the 100 to 150 patients treated each day. We enjoy Tuesday nite potlucks, Wednesday nite educational/inspirational speakers, weekly doctor’s appointments, and regular workouts at a world-class athletic center. All part of the program. Come to find out prostate cancer is a common reality for men over fifty. Annual PSA tests are important for an early diagnosis. We thank the Lord that David’s cancer was caught early. We thank the Lord for leading us to Loma Linda. We are eager to spread the word to family and friends. Men: be sure and get your PSA checked annually. And consider proton therapy as a strong treatment option. Learn more at http://www.protons.com/proton-therapy/conditions-treated/pelvis.html Call 866-285-6728 and request a DVD about the program and the book You Can Beat Prostate Cancer and You Don’t Need Surgery to Do It by Robert Marckini, a prostate cancer survivor. Or contact the Squiers. We appreciate Loma Linda’s commitment to treating the whole person. David and I applaud the upfront spiritual component; we are comforted daily by the cross on the front of the hospital building. And I love Nathan Greene’s art on the walls of the lobby depicting Jesus visibly present in the multi-facets of medicine. Could it be? Yes it’s true. I, the Queen of Hyperbole, and David, the King of Understatement, agree that these two plus months of David’s prostate cancer treatment are amongst the best in our 43 years of marriage. Cancer is so limited – It cannot cripple love, shatter hope, corrode faith, destroy peace. It cannot kill friendship, suppress memories, silence courage, invade the soul. It cannot steal God’s gift of eternal life; it cannot quench the Holy Spirit. It cannot lessen the power of the resurrection. -Author Unknown (Thanks Cousin Sue for sending us this quote early on) And thanks Rachel Olstad for your recent comment: I love how God is using cancer for His Glory!
Cornerstone Berean Church in Kearney Nebraska hosted an unforgettable Broken and Beautiful event recently. Precious women studied my blog and put together an event that fit His Majesty and Judy to a tee. (Thank you Michele Brown and your team!) The evening began when a gal named Patty, a professed shoe lover, handed me a colorfully wrapped package containing a penny loafer paper weight. “After reading His Majesty in Brokenness,” she explained, “I knew burgundy penny loafers had a special place in your heart.” Thanks to people like Patty my shoe collection groweth…. First came my orthopedic shoe, which His Majesty transformed into my treasured gold shoe. Then came the pink cowgirl boots from Molly at Holland Michigan’s Therapeutic Riding Fundraiser. Add to that Patty’s replica of my much-loved burgundy loafers worn on my first set of artificial limbs. Plus one more shoe for the night: a cellophane wrapped glass slipper cookie was presented to each one in attendance. The delicacy was tastefully tied with a tag containing Ephesians 2:10: For we are God’s masterpiece. He created us anew in Christ Jesus so that we can do the good things He planned for us long ago. Legless Judy’s growing collection of shoes is proof that God has a special place in His heart for what’s missing in our lives. In His time and in His unique way He lovingly addresses our loss and whispers: “I know the longing of your heart. Thank you for entrusting it to Me.” Sharing Cornerstone’s stage with me was a beautiful evening gown depicting Cinderella’s rags to riches story. Its skinny waistline captured my attention resulting in this unscripted remark: God has new bodies awaiting us in heaven. Legs would be nice but what I’m really looking forward to is a size two waistline. Surely it was those words that inspired the end of the evening photo shoot with me, Heaven’s Thinner Daughter of the King in the skinny-minny ballroom attire. Joining the dress to Judy for the picture required due diligence on the part of several ladies – further proof that His Majesty, Jesus Christ, God’s Son cares about the desires of our hearts. My heart’s desire is to fit in a size 2. What about you? Maybe you long for that overdue prince to come, or you crave hearing I love you from an estranged family member, or maybe you’ve given up on a Happily Ever After with your name on it. May my smiling face atop the skinny gown remind you that your heart’s desires matter to God. In His time and in His unique way He will show up in your pain, bestowing upon you His presence plus gifting you with something that fits your longing to a tee. Your job until then: “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4 NASB Pinch me, is that really me gracing the forest on a flying trapeze?
Thanks to three committed guys – Brent , Jeff and my ever true David this old girl was blessed this week with the ride of a lifetime. They didn’t carry a Judy-filled stretcher up a flight of stairs and lower me through the roof to the feet of Jesus but they did drive me up the steep service trail, hooked me up, lowered me to the launch plank and gave me a shove. Like the friends in the Gospels, they got me there. God bless them. Now I know how a seagull feels riding the sea breeze – free as a bird. I know now the security of His everlasting arms holding me as I take that leap of faith. And having experienced it kinesthetically, I can rest in the reality – You, Lord, are the wind beneath my wings. Joni Camp is famous for providing the launch pad for scaredy-cats to take flight, conquering fears that are more paralyzing than quadriplegia. One little girl came specifically to overcome particular fears in her life. She told her mom, “I want to make fear walk the plank!” Joni Camp is life changing… for me and for others. Who wouldn’t want to see for themselves in 2012?? Are you willing to live on the edge? www.joniandfriends.org/family-retreats/ I have been buried in speech writing the past four weeks – hiding out in my cozy office in our home in Grants Pass. My labors grew momentarily lighter watching a mother swallow outside my window as she frantically hunted food for the chirping mouths peeking out of the birdhouse. But still with my stack of rewrites up to the ceiling, my ravenous quest continues for the perfect words. I shout AMEN to Mark Twain’s remark: The difference between the right word and the almost right word is like the difference between lightning and the lightning bug. This Power of Words video has captivated my attention. I’ve viewed it a dozen times already. Each time I ask myself: What makes the second set of words so much more effective? As a writer, my Roget’s Super Thesaurus is a tried and true tool in my quest for words that hit the spot. As a Christian writer, I invite Jesus the Living Word to bring life to my choice of words. And as a Christian, I pray, Lord, give each one of us written and spoken words that penetrate hearts, propelling us to deeds of kindness to the hurting world around us. I’m praying for Jesus’ healing words as I speak to families touched by disability at the July Joni and Friends Family Retreat at Mission Springs in California. I’ll give you an update with pictures at the end of the month. Until then I pass on a prayer that I’ve prayed more and more recently: “May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart, be acceptable in Thy sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” Psalm 19:14 As I give speeches, I marvel as a roomful of women listen attentively to my story of brokenness. Legless Judy perched in her wheelchair peers out at seats filled with beautiful women with whole bodies. I always wonder: What can they glean from my tale of broken dreams?
Once again I watched His Majesty in Brokenness mesmerize an audience. This time at a ‘Tea with Judy Squier’ in Santa Cruz, California. Antonelli’s Clubhouse felt more like London’s Buckingham Palace with Bonnie Smith’s linens, china cups and saucers, tea pots, centerpieces. (Bonnie’s collection takes thrift shopping to a whole new level.) We all were pampered savoring scones with Devonshire cream, finger sandwiches of all kinds, dipped strawberries and so much more. I wrapped my life stories around Beth Moore’s statement: Practically every little girl has at least four dreams – 1) to be a bride 2) to be beautiful 3) to be fruitful 4) to live happily ever after Born broken, I never risked such dreams, nor did my parents. But God did. Echoing through my lonely childhood and wilderness teen years was His Promise: For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV) With book in hand, I read portions of Celebration on Hold, Wedding Miracles, Courage Begins with Fear. The stage was perfectly set, as Lynnette, Emily and Rose sang El Shaddai – my all time favorite song (which daughter Emily keeps practiced for my memorial service). Yes, the All-Sufficient One showed up at our tea party, rekindling hope in the hearts of women whose dreams had been tried and tested. Together we laughed at God’s sense of humor. We stood in awe of His wondrous deeds. Indeed my story is a Cinderella tale with His Majesty being the Prince, Who longs to make dreams a reality in each of our lives. Hand over the broken pieces so I can create a Masterpiece, Jesus extends this offer. Yet, too often, an ever-present seed of skepticism retorts from deep inside, Surely there’s no such thing as living happily ever after! Together with His Majesty, I, the little crippled girl who was too afraid to dream, provided living proof that in Christ there is a happily ever after. But it’s not like in the fairy tales. In fact its quite different. I closed my talk by describing my formula for happily ever after. For me it involved: 1) exposing the shame 2) embracing the pain 3) extracting the precious from the worthless. As I greeted individuals in the book line, one conversation brought life to my three points. Jenny introduced herself and told me she was blind. Immediately she asked if she could feel my wheelchair. Then she asked if she could feel one of my stumps. She gently held on to my left stump as we talked. At that moment in time living happily ever after happened: Judy’s shame came out of hiding, Jenny embraced my pain and together we extracted the precious from the worthless. What about you? Where has happily ever after shown up for you recently? Tell me about it and we’ll celebrate with a tea party. Let’s call this one Tea with His Majesty…. Touring the Franklin Delano Roosevelt Memorial was a definite highlight of my recent trip to Washington DC. At the same time, my eyes were opened to how far our society has actually come in accepting a physical disability.
President Roosevelt had residual lower limb paralysis following polio at age 39. He used a wheelchair every day of his four-term presidency. Was America aware of this? Newspaper publicity never showed the chair. Of the 30,000 photos studied for his memoirs, only two were found showing him in the wheelchair. With the unveiling of his memorial in 1997, President Roosevelt was depicted sitting down with a long cape hiding the wheelchair. The disabled of America protested insisting the president’s disability be made visible: “He was our only president in a wheelchair.” Against the designers wishes, the memorial now exposes FDR’s secret. Viewing this ‘prologue’ to the memorial, I was struck by how small and alone FDR looks seated in his wheelchair. How small and alone disability can make us feel. Thank God, times have changed. Back at home, thankful for my trusty wheelchair that gives me the dignity of independence, I grieve President Roosevelt’s obvious shame associated with his. And I ponder how could a key figure on the world stage hide his inability to walk unaided much less hide his wheelchair? Hopefully none of us are living in such bondage. I welcome your thoughts as I wrestle with this one. |
AuthorJUDY SQUIER has authored His Majesty in Brokenness, Living in the Names of God and the Living in the Names Bible Study. Husband David and she have three adult daughters, three sons-in-law and seven grandchildren. Never did Mr. and Mrs. Squier dream that their long-awaited golden wedding anniversary would coincide with David’s memorial service. Judy resides in southern Oregon, alone, yet not alone. Thanks to the Good Shepherd! Categories
All
Archives
September 2022
|